Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm beginning to think I don't even know you anymore

When I woke up this morning, something inside me said, "today is a day you will never forget" and then I got up and went to work and read and read some more.
People have told me that I have lived a sheltered life, and the more I am exposed to ideas in college, the more I realize I had it easy--but only in some ways... I didn't grow up in east la with people calling me coconut or chola, but I have lived a life in my 20 years in a different way. I think of what it would be like to have grown up somewhere else where just surviving everyday would be an accomplishment, and I shiver. I grew up with friend challenges, and boy challenges, but I didn't grow up too fast. I am just overwhelmed with the idea that somehow because I spend my time at work in San Bernardino, that I knew what it was like to have lived that life. I was sheltered, and had no idea that neighborhoods so close to mine were fighting to survive.

PS. to Aubrey Rae. I don't know what to say to you, but come home. Maybe you don't feel like our little apartment is yours any longer, maybe you've moved on and don't really care anymore. Maybe I don't even know you anymore, but either way, I knew you once, and that bed that is empty every night beside mine saddens me more with each passing day. What happened? What did I do to push you so far away that you don't even want to come home to sleep for a while? I hope you know that I love you, and enjoy being your friend, and would give anything for you to text me or call me or come home and just tell me why you are running? When did you become a nomad?...