Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmasly disappointments

Spontaneous times are these which we are living. Last night my boyfriend decided to be that guy that isn't exactly sweet, but is of he More dangerous brood.. And I liked it, a lot. We shared some entertaining moments that made everything seem right--those are the moments that keep us alive.
I found myself unable to take the path home and arrived at an old friends house and realized how much I have chosen to spend time with a few select people as opposed to the number of friends I have that I've made life long friendships with.
Additionally, this christmas season isn't exactly going the way I has planned. I have practice for the church play the only night I have plans that are meaningful to my Christmas memories. My family is coming over to celebrate christmas early but I will be at a run through. Anyone want to take a guess at where I would rather be?? Hopefully god will bring something great out of all of this but right now it is just a little disappointing. I love Christmas but not all of these obligations :(


Monday, December 14, 2009


Moments pass by us in this world instantaneously, as soon as a moment comes, it passes us by.
Today I remembered how glorious living life can be. How surprising a moment can be; and in that surprise you awake from the mundane. My goal is to live my life to its fullest; sometimes, we forget that as each day ends, we lose the ability to regain more time. Often I complain "there is never enough time"-- what if there is enough time, we just aren't using it properly. We waste our lives on the internet, watching TV, being bored. What if we just got up, got out, interacted--whether it be with other people or with a book--as long as it adds to the value of our lives. I am amazed at how often I find myself being bored, but maybe my DNA is engraved with laziness that prevents me from seeing the billion things I could be doing as opposed to lazing around. Living life with a purpose, so when people look back at my life, they'll remember me for my activity--what I did, not what I chose not to do.


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Happiness is all in the weather

Things that make me insanely happy::
•tea that smells like chocolate and caramel, but tastes nothing like what you'd expect
•boys that eat your fries as if they're theirs (and no, this doesn't bother me like it may bother others)
•my boxer that literally smiles, and inevitably makes me smile too
•rain boots
•being able to pull off the side of mountain road . . .
•moments when you truly realize that you're in love
•French fries and hot tea from Dennys

There aw these moments thatyou have when you realize that something is sctually familiar. That you are your mother and he is your father. Is this bad? By no means is it bad. But... It's funny how things work out. My mom always complaining that she never gets out with just my dad. And I found myself wishing for just the same. Should we go to the mountains with a friend (Friday) or without (today--but only because i requested it)? I think with friends is more fun but alone is definitely more personal and, dare I say, sexual. Which makes it hard to chose; and now I can officially empathize with my mother who finds herself wondering when she'll get my dad to herself. Does this mean that we are destined to repeat certain things that occur in our parents lives and invariably ours? Possibly, but maybe our upbringing has been positive enough that it is inevitable that we look for similarities in our relationships so as to emulate theirs. Something I will be pondering



I can't write much because I don't feel like it but...
TONIGHT rocked. It was perfect-o. We went to the mountains and sledded down a freaking hill. So fun! More tomorrow, and I cannot wait. I really really can't.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Vegas Baby

In the last two days I have had more excitement than I think I can take.
My boyfriend came to my humble abode because no one was home. Yes, there were tears, but for the most part it exceeded all expectations. We keep planning for all of these things in the future, and the more we plan, the more excited I get. 2 years is coming up faster than I had imagined, and the fact that we are exchanging Christmas presents and might have a chance at spending part of Christmas together excites me.
May is the month of sin... Sin City. My lovely, lovely, love is taking me to Vegas to treat me to something nice for everything I've done to ensure his survival and it makes me incredibly pleased to know that he cares that much. To him I say "I love you more than you'll ever know, lets make this last forever"

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Crying; Brain Function in Essay Mode

Do you ever have those moments that just make you want to cry?
Lately I've been feeling sorta lonely because its been over a week since I saw my boyfriend, and in reality I'm okay with that, and really can function on my own. However, during this time any thought of him manifests into me longing for his company. I dream about the things we could be doing, and for that matter, should be doing and it makes me sad.
Thus, when he answered the phone a few times this weekend, it nearly brought me to tears. I think I might be too sentimental for my own good, but it's really not such a bad thing. The crying can be therapeutic, and really is just a reflection on how much a care. Perhaps I care too much, but the crying likely won't cease anytime soon.

On a side note, after writing what seems like a billion words worth of essays this quarter, my brain has officially turned into a machine. As I'm writing this blog I'm editing the "is" 's, yes we must eliminate the passive voice. I think create and write "manifest" or think of all the words that I could use in place that make me sound smarter. I think of what words fit best at the beginning of the sentence for transitions... Additionally, Ultimately, Thus, So, Therefore, Though, Similarly, However--the words are endless. I must say, perhaps has become my new favorite word i.e. Perhaps Dracula nearly draining Lucy of her blood further exemplifies this fear—symbolically, as Lucy loses more blood she becomes less human, and therefore less English. I love the word Perhaps. Would you like a dash with that sentence, or a semicolon?

Perhaps this blog entry is over; perhaps it is not.