Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm beginning to think I don't even know you anymore

When I woke up this morning, something inside me said, "today is a day you will never forget" and then I got up and went to work and read and read some more.
People have told me that I have lived a sheltered life, and the more I am exposed to ideas in college, the more I realize I had it easy--but only in some ways... I didn't grow up in east la with people calling me coconut or chola, but I have lived a life in my 20 years in a different way. I think of what it would be like to have grown up somewhere else where just surviving everyday would be an accomplishment, and I shiver. I grew up with friend challenges, and boy challenges, but I didn't grow up too fast. I am just overwhelmed with the idea that somehow because I spend my time at work in San Bernardino, that I knew what it was like to have lived that life. I was sheltered, and had no idea that neighborhoods so close to mine were fighting to survive.

PS. to Aubrey Rae. I don't know what to say to you, but come home. Maybe you don't feel like our little apartment is yours any longer, maybe you've moved on and don't really care anymore. Maybe I don't even know you anymore, but either way, I knew you once, and that bed that is empty every night beside mine saddens me more with each passing day. What happened? What did I do to push you so far away that you don't even want to come home to sleep for a while? I hope you know that I love you, and enjoy being your friend, and would give anything for you to text me or call me or come home and just tell me why you are running? When did you become a nomad?...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Blame it

I Blame it on Fox news... the loss of hope in this country.
It isn't Barack Obama's fault that all of his promises haven't completely come through, in essence it is the failure of congress to work together. Me, a die hard democrat, would be willing to sacrifice my figurative place in office to pass legislature that is controversial. When did our congressmen start caring more about their positions in office than getting legislature passed that is vital to the survival and growth of this country? When did the public stop mattering? What I fail to understand is how a health-care bill that, mind you, wouldn't do anything positive or negative for me, can be portrayed as the bill that will end all bills... Fox news has paid a large contribution to why every republican, closed minded, and intellect-impaired person doesn't approve of the bill. Everyone blames the president--complaining that he hasn't fulfilled his promises. Wake up people, in a mere year, Barack Obama has done as much as he could to push his agenda, but it hasn't been easy.
I am scared that people won't realize how vital this moment in history is to the future, and our country will continue to worsen despite good intentions. Not the future we imagined as kids, egh?


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Random Points

Clearly writing hasn't been top priority for me lately with school starting, but here it goes (again).

January has been hard and easy--but mainly it has been a month bringing a winter wonderland that I simply can't get enough of. I catch myself everyday looking towards the mountains that are usually beautiful, but are currently extravagantly extraordinarily snow covered. I long to be there, not here away from the calm. Perhaps because the snow brings to life everything that is good and perfect in the world. It makes the complexities that lie at 1500 feet seem more and more insignificant as we draw closer to the sky. I'm not sure if there are two people on this earth more at peace and happy in the snow than my boyfriend and me; it is hard t explain what the snow does to us. Similar to Lorelei in Gilmore Girls, the snow is magic. Someday we will find ourselves living in a secluded cabin high enough for it to cover our driveway, and on that day, we will be ecstatic. It's nice to share a dream with one another--here's to the future, for there will be many more winter storms to come.


Friday, January 1, 2010

Welcome 2010

I won't hash out the details of 2009 but here are a few accomplishments
I managed to stay in love for an entire calandar year
I made it through my roughest year of school ever in Santa Cruz
I water skiied to my hearts content learning to be a pro along with getting up on a wakeboard the first time I ever tried, and learning to skurf
I kinda learned to drive a stick
I made my firstreal art for Christmas

There's more, but I won't go on...

Now for what is to come this year:
I don't usually make new years resolutions but I had such a fabulous new years eve (my first time going out) that it was inevitable that I thought up a few
I plan on riding my horse three times a week because he deserves more of my attention
I want to write more, maybe refine and accomplish more chapters of my book
I want an A- GPA when right now I have a 3.49 I wish I could manage to work myself harder and leave UCR with a 3.7
I want to spend more time with my friends in an effort to love them more and distract myself from being a needy girlfriend

I guess there are really thousands of things that I want but in general 2010 is going to be great, I have HOPE and I genuinly think the adventures to come are going to be magnificant